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Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2010 14:49:06 GMT -5
Oops I poured vodka in there, my bad. Always take a potato with you, you never know when it will ferment in your kool-aid. DON'T DRINK THE WINE IT WILL MAKE YOU VOMIT. HAPPENED TO ME LAST NIGHT THEN I PASSED OUT ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR AND PEOPLE TOOK SCREENIES. FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUU-
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Post by IvanX on Oct 24, 2010 21:57:14 GMT -5
A free "Beta" chapter I'm too lazy to finish.
Axel of Aids, paced his living quarters like a terrorist speaks with turtles, quite violently. "Damn damn damn... This stupid sword doesn't seem to be able to be fixed." Axel promised Ivan he would return in three days after fixing his stolen sword, only the promise was severed due to Axel being incompetent and not fixing the sword at all. In fact in the time since the theft, 2 weeks, Axel has managed to break the sword more so that before. With a deep sigh, Axel dismissed the sword from his mind. He checked his PMs on an web forum and lold at screenied pics of a guy who passed out in an underground lair. The man apparently drunk wine and passed out due to low alcohol tolerance.
After that, The Aids Magician decided to focus on his television for a few hour on end.
Eventually he returnred from his procrasterbating and returned to the shattered remains of Ivan's Sword. "Crystal IvanX..." Axel said under his breathe as he conciplated other options to repair the sword.
Else where, deep in Axel dungeons, an unstable experiment b
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Post by Sesu Reinoruzu on Oct 24, 2010 23:06:43 GMT -5
Excellent, Experiment Bathtub.
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Post by snotskie on Nov 4, 2010 6:55:47 GMT -5
A free "Beta" chapter I'm too lazy to finish. Axel of Aids, paced his living quarters like a terrorist speaks with turtles, quite violently. "Damn damn damn... This stupid sword doesn't seem to be able to be fixed." Axel promised Ivan he would return in three days after fixing his stolen sword, only the promise was severed due to Axel being incompetent and not fixing the sword at all. In fact in the time since the theft, 2 weeks, Axel has managed to break the sword more so that before. With a deep sigh, Axel dismissed the sword from his mind. He checked his PMs on an web forum and lold at screenied pics of a guy who passed out in an underground lair. The man apparently drunk wine and passed out due to low alcohol tolerance. After that, The Aids Magician decided to focus on his television for a few hour on end. Eventually he returnred from his procrasterbating and returned to the shattered remains of Ivan's Sword. "Crystal IvanX..." Axel said under his breathe as he conciplated other options to repair the sword. Else where, deep in Axel dungeons, an unstable experiment b egan blasting its dissonant teenage music. "Fuckfuckfuckfuck. He's home"
The door to Axel's room was kicked in suddenly. Axel cowers behind a wall of aids. It was none other than his own son from which he hid. It was, Mama Luigi.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 4, 2010 10:43:09 GMT -5
A free "Beta" chapter I'm too lazy to finish. Axel of Aids, paced his living quarters like a terrorist speaks with turtles, quite violently. "Damn damn damn... This stupid sword doesn't seem to be able to be fixed." Axel promised Ivan he would return in three days after fixing his stolen sword, only the promise was severed due to Axel being incompetent and not fixing the sword at all. In fact in the time since the theft, 2 weeks, Axel has managed to break the sword more so that before. With a deep sigh, Axel dismissed the sword from his mind. He checked his PMs on an web forum and lold at screenied pics of a guy who passed out in an underground lair. The man apparently drunk wine and passed out due to low alcohol tolerance. After that, The Aids Magician decided to focus on his television for a few hour on end. Eventually he returnred from his procrasterbating and returned to the shattered remains of Ivan's Sword. "Crystal IvanX..." Axel said under his breathe as he conciplated other options to repair the sword. Else where, deep in Axel dungeons, an unstable experiment b egan blasting its dissonant teenage music. "Fuckfuckfuckfuck. He's home"
The door to Axel's room was kicked in suddenly. Axel cowers behind a wall of aids. It was none other than his own son from which he hid. It was, Mama Luigi.Lolwut, random use of the present tense?!
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Post by snotskie on Nov 5, 2010 16:42:57 GMT -5
Lolwut, random use of the present tense?! Narrative present ;D
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2010 16:53:47 GMT -5
fffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuu-
seems confusing.
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Post by snotskie on Nov 7, 2010 18:46:50 GMT -5
fffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuu- seems confusing. Pretty much you just "forget" which tense you're in, and just use the simplest present. It narrates the actions as they occur, bringing the reader directly into the events of the story.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2010 19:08:52 GMT -5
Or in my case just throwing me off the events of the story. I just can't help but think it looks out of place.
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Post by linktank11 on Nov 9, 2010 0:53:11 GMT -5
LOL
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Post by Sesu Reinoruzu on Nov 12, 2010 23:33:25 GMT -5
Or in my case just throwing me off the events of the story. I just can't help but think it looks out of place. Yeah, something in the back of my mind was like wtf, the story just feels different.
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Post by IvanX on Jan 30, 2011 6:27:13 GMT -5
It was around high noon when our heroes ventured out of their camp. Ivan retrieved the M45+3r 5w0rd and the characters of this non-fiction story, now lacked any proper goal, aside from drinking and spelling their names in urine. With no purpose in mind, the three wandered deep into the woods surrounding their campsite. For what seemed like hours, left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot.
Soon, dark thoughts creeped in. The three felt as if their bodies were reduced to animated bones. Then hunger gnawed at them. Ivan took note of how much of Aisha could be split between himself and IvanX( in a non-sexual I-WANT-FOOD kinda of way.) Then Fear became their acquaintance. Aisha could swear she saw figures in her peripheral vision, accompanied by a fitting laughter. Then anger found a way into their hearts. IvanX really, REALLY hated the expressions of his two friends, enough to beat them both and make suit out of their flesh.
The three continued to walk, despite their emotional trauma, and then...there was darkness. The kind of darkness that existed only in your childhood nightmares. Dreams of a so-called monster that's only purpose was to eat you. Of course this monster understood that fear made children taste better. So the monster lurked everywhere you looked, waiting for you to notice him and cry when your eyes meet. Yes, this monster, no, this darkness was the darkness that was held deep in ones heart to torment oneself arose before our heroes, and then, they blacked out.
They awoke, tied together with a primiative rope. IvanX was the first to complain "IVAN! THIS IS NOT TIME FOR YOUR KINKY SHIT" Although Ivan liked the idea, he had other plans, plans to find out what was happening "Shh, it wasn't my fault" Aisha was quick to reply "No, I'm pretty sure you're behind this" IvanX agreed "This is typical, let us go before I boot your head in with my hand!" "But IvanX, you cant boot someone with your hand." "Oh right, my bad Aisha" "Quiet!" Muttered Ivan, "I have a bad feeling about this" "Nope, thats just my leg." "Don't mess around IvanX" "WELL STOP FONDLING MY LEG!" Suddenly, a noise echoed through the darkness
A series of creatures crackled in a horrid high pitched tone. The three heroes equipped their mass produced Lens o' Truth and saw through the darkness. They were greeted with creatures, the size of a child, with wooden features and piercing orange eyes that stood surrounded by a lime green used for transparency purposes. After looking around, and counting each creature known simply as "Skullkid", Ivan guess they were about alot of them. Like alot alot. I mean a damn village's worth. Each one cocking their head and awaiting some sort of task. Twas one whom was easily recognized as leader of the wooden children. It wore a flamboyant purple robe, trimmed with a golden hue. "My friends, brother, and sisters." It's voice rang. "We have before us, our new vessel. The mask spoke to me and said one of these three will become his new body." At this, the many skullkids cheered. "For decades, we have looked for a proper body for our lord, or years we have felt the pain of a life lost in a thousand days. We never were gunna give him up, never gunna let him down. He is our god." IvanX stifled a laugh, getting the two song references. The skull-leader, didn't take kindly to it. "You, laughing man, you'll be the first to wear the mask. Prepare yourself, for the soul of the Skull-God."
Text in red was IvanX's contribution.
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Post by Sesu Reinoruzu on Jan 30, 2011 6:59:31 GMT -5
Removed the *'s so it didn't look so lame.
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Post by Dead on Jan 30, 2011 11:18:17 GMT -5
Lawl Now I have one comment wtf is this? It's friggin hilarious!
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Post by bobbotheclown on Jan 31, 2011 5:08:35 GMT -5
and no bobbo the chicken keeper.
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