'GAHHHH! YOU INSIGNIFICANT BRAT, HOW DARE YOU SHEAR MY FABULOUS ARMOR?!?" The knight screeched.
"You know...*cough* Your powerless to th- *cough* the might of an awaken Hylian." Ivan Raised his sword to srtike a finishing blow unto the knight. "You have died honorably, sir knight...rest well." Then out of the Fucking blue IvanX totally appeared and killed the knight. "FOCK YA, eh!" IvanX yelled. A golden text appeared over IvanX readin the words +548 Exp Level up!
"WHAT THE HELL MAN!" Ivan bitched. "That was my kill, I bet you steal kill on team battles in Melee."
"But ze knight might-ah hurt-ah you, a-pizza" IvanX responded.
"Guys, we got the M45+3r 5w0rD already, no need to complain." reasoned Aisha
"But I would've leveled up and learned that new skill. I think it was 'zio'"
"What the bloody fuck is 'zio'" asked IvanX.
"Its the name given to lightning skill in Megaten games. zio is a weak one hit attack, where adding 'ma-' to the beginning means it hits all enemys on the field. Adding -nga to the end makes it deal a medium amount a damage and -dyne make it a high damaging attack. From there on the highest damage dealing skill of that element has a name of its own that doesn't pertain to the per-mentioned format." Ivan casually explained.
"Oh, m'kay." IvanX and Aisha muttered.
Ivan stretched a bit and cringed at his wounds. The healing progress of his awakened Hylian status slowly began to heal him, like in an anime. With a swift kick of his foot, Ivan kicked the M45+3r 5w0rD expertly into the air, catching it mid-spin. "We got what we came for," Ivan muttered," Lets get the hell out of here." As the group began to leave, a deep rumbling noise echoed behind them. They turned around and stared in awe, fear, and discust at what they faced.
Lexa the great bore many children in his lifetime, all to other men or the occasional llama. These children go on to become slaves under his hand so they might please their father and be released to live normal lives. But there was one child by the name of Bobbo, whom escaped when he was young to live the life of the average chicken kepper.
Bobbo trained his chicken dillegently to fire their eggs, usually at the foxs whom attack them. Bobbos chickens eventually became a staple in King Punk's army once he saw the destructive might of these anally fired eggs.
Today, Bobbo the chickenkeeper spends his days training his chicken so that the King mightfind them usefull as food as well. (I swear this isn't a way to finally put Bobbo in here and plan out future things.)
(Back to Ivan and co.)
A man, large in stature with bulgin muscles emerged from what seem to be nowhere, his bannana hamock conealing his loins. "Oh mah gawd, whatever happened here?" The man asked, refering to the recent bloodshed. "My oh my, it looks like you slain the knight whos kept me captive for all these years."
"Captive, are you hurt then." Asked Ivan.
"Oh, of course not hunny. You see, I'm that knight's mistress and I-"
Ivan and co. ran away. Once outside of the temple, Ivan and his friends decided on a plan. "M'kay, so we liek got dem sword, now wut?" Asked IvanX "Well considering how I was never informed as to what you were doing before I met you, perhaps we could go and find a nice place to camp, considering its been a long day.
"Might as well, but your cooking, woman." Ivan said. "As you wish, master."
(also this wanst rushed and totally was spell checked)
Ivan nodded and left IvanX to his drinking. Aisha was cooking a hearty bowl of clam chowder using nothing but the wildlife and water from a stream that flowed near.
"I still don't quite understand you Aisha, you ambush me and IvanX and suddenly, after a quick sensual moment, you decide to join us claiming that I am you master. Your actions are stupid and irrational, explain your real purpose." Ivan stated. "Are you asking if I have ulterior motives?" "Clrly I am, now answer me." Ivan's voice was cold and demanding. "Well I'm not sure I should, I have some dignity you know." "Well maybe I could trust you more if-" Ivan was cut off by a innocent stone tossed his way by IvanX.
"Heeeeeeey, whyz r uz levin me out?" IvanX asked "Imma partz of dis stoory two."
Ivan and Aisha's eyes met and they laughed. They laughed hard. IvanX was honestly drunk off of plain kool-aid. As a joke Ivan, took a swig from what he deduced as the 12th bottle IvanX drank, which still had some liquid swishing in it. The drink sat still in his mouth as Ivan tested the flavor.
Of course Ivan realized IvanX Kool-aid was some sort of alcoholic beverage that seemed like it would kill our hero via a simple sip.
Some time later after Ivan finished vomiting the drink and cleaning his mouth, he returned to camp to find both IvanX and Aisha so utterly drunk, they were dueling an amazing battle. Aisha with her spear, and IvanX with his penis. The combatants twirled their weapons and stepped forth. They both tripped and ivan lol'd The end
(ignore this crappy chapter, its was necessary for somthing to come later)